We had a playgroup the other day at Chick-Fil-A. It is already warm enough here in Alabama that we need to play inside, and their play palace is well taken care of and in the a/c. In fact, I don't 100% love their food better than anyone elses, but, the customer service is fantastic and the restaurant is clean. Besides, everyone knows play groups are really for the adults just as much for the kids :)
Anyway, while there, we mothers got around to a discussion about some of the "extreme" things we did to help our children when they were babies. One mother said they put their son in his car seat in his crib. Another said her daughter would only sleep in a vibrating bouncy seat. She said they burnt up 3 motors... That is kinda where my secret comes in. I was feeling guilty for a number of reasons.
- That I have a perfectly good crib that Dylan isn't really using. (to be fair both of the girls used it though, so it isn't like I bought it and haven't used it)
- That I kinda felt like I couldn't handle my own son or that I was doing something wrong because he would only sleep while the seat was on. AND on his stomach.
- That even on days when he might sleep, I put him in the chair anyway, hoping I would get a little bit more time to myself.
So, here it is... I have been putting Dylan to sleep on his stomach in his bouncy seat. However, after discussing things with those moms, I feel much better. If that is how he sleeps, it is not a personal failing on my part. It is just how he is the most comfortable. And, if having a few extra minutes to my self makes me happier, then that makes me a better mommy. And, he wouldn't sleep if he wasn't tired anyway. So there. I don't really need to feel guilty anymore.
Also, I have cut out the glasses of milk I used to drink and saw a significant improvement. However, he still seems uncomfortable at times. About 1.5-2 hours after we finish a feeding he will get fussy. And I don't think it is because he is hungry because he recently gave up his 2 am feeding... He wouldn't do that if he was hungry, right? Also, my breastfed baby has started going for days between poops. I find that odd since both girls went almost every time they ate. So, I think I am going to try cutting out ALL dairy and go to chocolate next. (I know, horror of horrors, right.... I dunno if I can do it...) And, I guess we will see if that helps. I hate for him to cry and I hate even more that I am the one causing it... There goes that motherly guilt again. So, feel free in my comments section to suggest other possibilities if you would like.
Also, feel free to tell me your guilty secret. That might make me feel better :)
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Don't feel guilty about the bouncy seat naps! For heaven's sakes, we all do anything we can to get the tiny ones to go to and stay asleep. As long as it doesn't involve drugs or hammers, no guilt is necessary. :)
Days between poops, though—I'd bring that up the next time you see the pediatrician. That is outside my experience as well, my babies all pooped more than once a day.
The guilt I had was not nursing Spencer. Every other mother did it, but after the c-section and him being a good 9 pounder, I was a wimp and in so much pain. Then one day I went in for a WIC checkup and they told me that he was eating (drinking milk) so much that my body wouldn't have been able to produce that much, so I felt guilt free after that (thankfully!). AND I still put Spencer down for "rest time" cause mommy still needs an hour to herself in the afternoon to be happy the rest of the day.
The poop thing...don't know, just ask the doc.
Thirdly, I really wish we lived closer to each other so we could have play dates and talk mommy to mommy. It would be nice. Miss ya!
When someone else writes a blog like this it makes me feel really good cause Iknow I am not the only one feeling guilty about things I do as a mom. So thanks for making me feel like I am not the only Mom in this world to feel like this!! I love reading your blogs. And never feel guilty about doing anything as a mom because they are your children and if you feel like it is right then go for it!!
Don't worry about the belly sleeping. About every 10 years doctors change their minds on whether back or belly sleeping is best. My boys are belly/side sleepers. And we all do crazy stuff to get a bit more sleep, I swaddled my boys until they were 13 months old. They didn't sleep more than an hour at a time, and only when swaddled and falling asleep at the bottle. It was pretty miserable. We did CIO at 13 months when my doctor and husband finally said, you are bordering on postpartum psychosis and can't do this any more. Sigh. Kids.
I've never been able to nurse my kids. I tried with every single one and always ended up having to bottle feed them, my body never produced enough milk. WIth Rachael, she only gained 7 ounces in 2 monthes, she was so fussy and to find out that we were starving her, becaues we didn't realise she wasn't getting enough milk. Also on the poop thing... i think its great how when you are a mom, poop becomes a subject topic. anyways Rachael was like that, she only pooped once every few days.they say its normal. If he's not in pain when trying to go, then its usually okay. but just to be safe, tell your ped. We all do what we can to keep our sanity. all my kids slept on there sides. once they start rolling, you can't control it anyways. we go through swings like crazy, because my kids would sleep in the swing on rough nights. They are a great investiment!
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